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| Photo by Terence S. Jones |
Death had been annoyed with Andi a couple of times since
she’d allowed her to tag along and learn the trade. She’d even been angry once or twice, when
Andi’s mistakes could have, or did, have some serious consequences
At the moment, she was livid. She felt like Andi had betrayed her trust the
very moment she’d decided to try again.
What Andi was supposed to have done was made the collection, and then
not go visit her old chum.
And the part about visiting an old chum really got Death
torqued off.
The thing was, they were supposed to be moving in the
background. They were supposed to be
unseen, unnoticed, intangible, quietly going about their business and keeping
the world moving.
They were not supposed to be visiting old friends who were
likely to turn around and sell a book about “My Old Friend: The Grim Reaper.” If
people started looking for Death, and Andi, their job was going to get a lot
more difficult. It’s easy to be
unnoticed when people aren’t looking for you in the first place.
At the moment, the two of them were outside of the Bump and
Grind. Inside, the owner and one of her
employees were trying to wind down for the evening. Death’s motorcycle was parked at the curb.
“So,” Death said, when she had calmed down enough that she
could speak, “what, exactly, were you thinking when you decided that going to
visit a friend who is still alive was a good idea?”
Andi realized she was in incredibly deep trouble at the
moment, so she thought carefully before answering. She considered telling Death some kind of
lie, that she’d needed to finish some kind of business with Rob. She considered getting defensive and saying
that she didn’t see what the big deal was.
What she finally decided on, however, was the simple truth.
“I just wanted to see my old friend. I miss him,” Andi said.
Death pressed her lips together and didn’t speak.
One the one hand, she was grateful to Andi for at least
being honest with her. She could tell
Andi wasn’t lying, and also that she didn’t realize how much she had screwed
up. On the other hand, she didn’t like
it that her intern might be the one to confirm that there is life after death,
thereby making everything significantly more complicated for Death. And she was worried that if Andi had decided
to go and visit her friend once, she might decide to do it again, or go visit
others as well.
She thought carefully before speaking again.
“I don’t think you understand how big of a mistake that was,”
Death said.
Andi felt her heart plummet into her feet. She was certain she was about to get fired.
“Look,” Death said, “the deal is, people can’t know about us
in more than a vague sort of way. It’s
fine for there to be myths about the grim reaper, coming for everyone at the
moment of their death. It’s not fine for
people to actually be expecting us.
Think about this for a second: would you really want to deal with
everyone present – the person dying, the other people present, the doctors, the
family, random concerned citizens – to drop what they’re doing to plead with
you for that person’s life? Or looking
at it as some kind of morbid opportunity for righting past wrongs? We need to be secret.”
She continued, “Visiting your friend once may not be that
big of a deal. There have been crazy people
claiming they’ve seen me about my business for millennia, and no one has taken
notice. But if you’ve told him that you’re
in training to act as death, and that, actually, I’m not all that bad once you
get to know me, and then go back sometime in the future and tell him more, that’s
a problem. And if you start visiting
other people, and the temptation is already there, I know, and telling them
what you’ve been up to, they’re going to start to put things together.”
“Now, maybe not everyone will buy in to their story. But enough could to dramatically change the
world works. I don’t really want people
getting organized and worshipping me, or trying to stop me,” Death said. “And
that’s a real risk if enough people catch wise.”
Andi was looking for an opportunity to apologize and tell
Death that she hadn’t realized what she’d done, and that it wouldn’t
happen. She was surprised, then, by what
Death said next.
“I’m not sure I can trust you to do this job, Andi,” Death
said. “I think I’m going to have to send
you to my apartment for a while, until I can figure out what we can do, if
there is anything we can do, about this.”
“Come on,” Death said, and held her hand out too Andi.
“Don’t I get to say anything about this?” Andi said.
“Not right now,” Death said.
“I don’t know what you could possibly say to make it all OK at the
moment. We’ll talk about it again. In the meantime, you’re going to have to sit
things out for a little bit while I decide how to move forward from here.”
Andi made a displeased face, but she took Death’s hand. “Let’s go,” she said.
In the blink of an eye, they were inside Death’s
apartment. Nothing had changed since
Andi had last been in there, but then, it was incredibly likely that she had
been the last person in there.
“I want you to stay here for now,” Death said. “I’m not sure what to do yet. I’ve taught you too much to have you just
cross over. And I doubt you want to
spend the next millennia as an immortal pizza delivery girl. For now, I’d like you to stay here and come
up with plans. Maybe we can get a little
bit ahead, even.”
Her phone rang then.
“Damn it,” Death muttered as she dug her phone out of her
cloak to see what needed to be done now.
“I need to go, of course,” Death said. “Stay here, be good. I’ll be back soon.”
With that, Death disappeared and Andi was alone in Death’s
apartment again. She looked at the desk,
thought about trying to plan out some deaths, then sat down on the couch
instead. If she was on time out, then
she was going to relax.
She stuck her tongue out at the desk, in her defiance. Andi had the strangest feeling that the desk
was looking at her with reproach.
See, Death talks about
rescuing and releasing and comforting, but then she locks me up here in her
apartment, Andi thought. Ugh, all that effort learning how to do this
stuff, and I’m just going to end up being a secretary and a go-fer for the rest
of time. It figures.
She stretched out a bit on the sofa, and heaved a sigh.
What do I do when I
need to be rescued from the rescuer? Andi thought
She had another thought then. If all of these people needed to be rescued
and released from life, why were they doing the job all onesy twosey? Why not rescue everyone all at once?
In fact, it seemed kind of cruel to leave people suffering
their way through life only to rescue them in what might turn out to be an
unfair, unpleasant way.
And she had another thought.
What, exactly, was keeping her in Death’s apartment?
Andi sat forward a bit.
There was probably nothing keeping her in Death’s apartment. She could travel just as easily as Death
could. So far as she knew, there wasn’t
anything that could force her to stay put.
All she had to do was leave.
She thought about it some more, and remembered that Death
would be able to catch up with her pretty quickly. And what’s more, Death could catch up with
her without being noticed until she was already, well, caught. She settled back into the couch.
Unless I can move keep
moving faster than her, Andi thought.
But how could she do that?
What is faster than moving by thought and willpower?
Thought, willpower,
and a motorcycle.
Could she do it?
Could she keep ahead of Death, release everyone, and not get caught?
I could if I didn’t
bring people to cross over.
Andi felt a brief pang of conscience then, remembering what
Death had said about the slow descent into madness and eternities of suffering
for souls that didn’t cross over.
And then she remembered that what seemed to drive people
nuts was loneliness and watching everything they loved rot away and
change. But if everyone was a ghost, that wouldn’t be a problem
It would be a kindness.
That made the decision easy.
Andi tossed her clipboard and stopwatch on the desk, and stepped out of
Death’s apartment.
If someone had noticed her, which they hadn’t, they would
have seen Andi appear in front of the Bump and Grind, next to Death’s
motorcycle
The bike sat, low, long, gleaming, beckoning her to take it.
Andi grabbed the handlebars, swung a leg over the saddle,
stood the bike up, raised the kickstand, and pressed the starter.
The engine roared to life as it always did, only this time
Andi could feel the vibration of the motor thrumming through the handlebars and
up her arms. It made her feel
invincible. No, unstoppable.
Andi shifted the bike into first gear, whacked the throttle
open, and roared away from the curb. If
someone had been watching, they would have seen her and the bike vanish maybe
two hundred feet further down the road.
***
After Death had brought the last collection to the gateway,
she crossed back over into this world.
She had ten minutes until the next collection, and her plan was to go
and get her motorcycle, then ride for as long as she could manage and think
about what to do next when it came to the Andi situation.
Moments later, Death appeared, unnoticed, in front of the
Bump and Grind right where she’d left her bike.
Only her bike wasn’t there.
Death was puzzled for a moment. Had she forgotten where she’d left her
bike? She couldn’t imagine that she
had. She’d never had any trouble remembering exactly where the bike was
before.
Slowly, slowly, a sickening realization washed over
her. The bike wasn’t where she’d left it
because someone had stolen her motorcycle.
For a moment, she wasn’t exactly sure what she should
do. No mortal had stolen her motorcycle,
they wouldn’t even know it was there to steal.
She tried to think if there were any gods she knew of that were pissed
off at her.
Eris had a problem with Death, because she was jealous Ares
had had a crush on Death and not her, but she usually contented herself with
tormenting Ares. Although, Ares had
given Death the bike, it was possible…
Death took out her phone and did something with it she had only done a very, very few times before. She made a phone call.
